I work in a pretty traditional office environment- lots of women, lots of talking about shopping, clothes, beauty treatments, shoes, vaginas, yeast, etc. I’m all for it, it’s a damn good time, and let’s be honest, it breaks up the day.

But one thing that’s really striking about working with women is this: they hate themselves. Yes, all of them. Or at least the vast majority. It’s insane! You’re ho-humming along in a perfectly lovely conversation about something non-controversial (like Kenneth Cole shoes, which I happen to adore), and inevitably, someone brings it down to the “I hate my body level”.

“I couldn’t fit into anything this morning, I seriously need to lose some weight”…. (or buy some new clothes?).

“Oh, My, God. Who brought these cookies in? I CANNOT eat cookies. These don’t belong here. They are the devil wreaking havoc on my ass!”… (or, maybe it’s not all about you, and some of us are enjoying the cookies?).

“I went to the doctor this morning, and I just looked the nurse right in the eye and said NO to being weighed. I don’t need to know just how fat I am. I really stood up for myself.”… (or, you could have gotten weighed as part of your health assessment and realized that the number on the scale doesn’t equate to your worth as a human being).

The list of incredible things that people say goes on and on. Do women come into work and say all of the things that they would never say in front of their partners and family members? (I should clarify here, it’s not just women. It’s men, too. I just happen to interact with a lot less men at work than women, so let that be stated for the record.)

Recently at a meeting we were talking about our hopes for the fall, and someone said, “More healthy snacks at work.” My smart-ass self added, “Less negative self-body talk at work. It’s oppressive.”

Well, it is. Maybe if we spent more time loving ourselves and congratulating ourselves in the mirror, we might make better decisions, be nicer people, and feel less like trash-talking the vessels that carry our big mouths around all day with our co-workers. Because here’s the truth: Nobody wants to hear that shit. It’s gross, and it’s just such a downer.

On that note: Yay boobs! Yay ass! Yay tummies and thighs! Yay arms and chins and wrinkles, for that matter! YAY!!

(Took it too far? Sorry.)