I’ve recently taken to making up different stories about my life for every customer who I talk to.

“Where are you from?” is a question that I get asked by almost everyone, which is incredibly boring, so to keep it interesting I’m trying to get to the point that I’ve “grown up” in all fifty states.

So far, I’ve spent my childhood in North Dakota, which became even more fun when a customer forgot my name and so told a fellow dancer, upon trying to find me again, that he had been talking to “the girl from North Dakota.” I’ve also grown up in New Hampshire, Montana, Wyoming, Kansas (that one always gets some shocked looks), Oklahoma, and Illinois.

The game has only backfired on me once or twice, when people I’m talking to are likewise from North Dakota, the greater Chicago area, or New England, and want to get specific with me about towns, lakes, and hot vacation spots.

A recent excerpt: “I’m from Indiana.”

“What part?”

“Oh, you know, outside Chicago.”

“I’m from Indiana too!”

Oh shit! “What part?”

“Well, the southern corner of the state, pretty far from Chicago.”

“Yeah, that’s far, you probably wouldn’t know where I grew up. Anyway, how about those Dodgers?”

All it requires, per usual, is some deft maneuvering of the conversation, and possibly a sexual innuendo, to get the person’s mind off the fact that we grew up in the same state. In a pinch, I’ll also backtrack a bit and say that I actually grew up in, like three different places, you know, my mom and dad split up, lived with a grandmother, moved around, hey is that Jesus at the end of the bar?

Anyway, the awkward situation is easily avoided in the first place. From here on out I’ll be consulting a map of the United States prior to each shift. I’ll choose a city at random, note some significant suburbs, and be on my merry way.

Tomorrow night in Michigan!