I think I might have a short temper.

For those of you that know me, don’t laugh.  I guess I should have realized this sooner, but it just dawned on me.  Mostly because I almost smacked someone at the Eagle Rock Trader Joe’s tonight (and for those of you that go there you know that’s hard get motivated to do- all those fucking hippies).

Here’s what went down:  There is an unspoken rule at this TJ’s parking lot that you wait in line for a spot if there aren’t any.  The turn-over of cars is really fast, and I’ve never waited that long.  You can only go in the parking lot from one direction, and it’s U-shaped, so it’s pretty obvious what’s going on when you come in.

So, here I am first in line to park, waiting for a guy to pull out, with a line of maybe three cars behind me. What do I see in my rearview?  Some beyatch driving past all of the cars behind me, whips around the parking lot just as someone is leaving and takes the spot.  Now, she didn’t take my spot, but she did take the spot of the (fucking hippie) guy behind me who had waited patiently for his turn.

This threw me into a rage.  I got out of my car and stood by it glaring at her from across the parking lot.  I think I might have growled (of course I see this as being very Edward Cullen of me- and those of you who don’t know what that means, fuck you), but I do realize that it might sound crazy.  The guy whose spot got stolen looked kinda’ peeved, too, but clearly wasn’t going to make a stink (fucking hippie).

And then you know I did?  I didn’t smack her, or yell at her, or even make a comment.  I did what always makes me feel the worst when I do something rude.  I walked next to her into the store, glared at her and shook my head back and forth with the “I can’t believe you, you are really disgusting” look on my face.  It’s so condescending… and so glorious.  She looked a little sheepish, but not sheepish enough.

I ran into her a bunch while shopping, too.  And every time I saw her I made a different grossed-out patronizing face.  One time I did the smirky smile that says, “You’re pathetic”, and one time I just blatantly rolled my eyes. Did I go too far?

Whatev.  She’s a beyatch.  And by the way, she clearly wasn’t a Jew.  We may be holier-than-thou, but we don’t steel parking spots, that’s just trashy.