I’ve been trying to upload a picture to let you all know what I’m talking about here, but then I realized a) Wordpress hates me and loves Sara and b) you’ll know what I’m talk about about anyway. So the other night I’m out at Cha Cha lounge, which of course allows for unparalleled hipster-watching (I can make a sound like an ironic flamingo, which is ideal for observation purposes). I’m watching, I’m judging, watching, judging. And then something hits me. I notice the ass of a man, similar to the asses of most men in there - flat, small, half-encased in skinny jeans (uuggghhhhh). From said pathetic-excuse-for-an-ass dangles a thick silver chain, and that chain droops down and then back up, into the front pocket.

A wallet chain.

I looked to my left: flat ass, skinny jeans that don’t quite fit, wallet chain. I looked to my right: another flat ass, acid washed jeans, wallet chain.

And so, I have to ask: WTF??! How - HOW - is the wallet chain still a staple of the fashion-conscious urban fellow? I mean, it’s been like 15 years! Think about it - they started back in grunge (you remember grunge) and they’ve never actually left. You didn’t even realize it, did you? They snuck up, attached themselves to the wallets of unsuspecting men everywhere, and just chilled the fuck out, right where they were. And these are hipsters we’re talking about - not like, your dad, who finds a handy way to carry his wallet, and then just sticks with that for the rest of his life. These are men who, however erroneously, are trying to follow fads. So why? What is it that allows the wallet chain to endure? And why not something else? Like, I don’t know, jeans that flatter the ass instead of smother it? Or how about an ass in the first place?