It’s a truth that’s gone unspoken for too long: Jewish girls are hot dancers, and we never get any credit for it.
This really gelled in my mind the other morning, at cardio kickbox. As we punched and kicked our way to flatter abs, I noticed…it was the girls with the curly dark hair and the big tits who were really putting the ass into the moves. Of course: the Jews.
And you know what? It makes perfect sense. After all, the Horah is nothing more (or less) than a big circle of b-boy and girls. The Sh’ma, while slow, is actually quite rythmic. And to drive the point home, I’d like to take you on a little trip down memory lane.
Middle school dance, 199x. Who, having practiced at myriad Bat Mitzvahs, could bust out with a running man in perfect time to Groove is in the Heart? Think about it…it was Rachel. Or Erica, or Sarah, or maybe even Ilana. Right? Sure, there was also that one drunk 13-year-old goy who took after her alcoholic mother and got wasted, fell over in the middle of the dance circle and proceeded to grind with the floor (that’s how shiksas are born, by the way, because David Goldstein fell in love with her right then and there, knowing that it would be the quickest and surest way to piss off his mother), but she wasn’t really dancing…she was flashing. Meanwhile, Shoshanna was shaking her DD’s (we often blossom early) quietly and joyfully.
You know what sucks about being such fucking awesome dancers but never getting the cred? We barely even recognize our own glory! There we are, trying to be nice Jewish girls and blend, when all we want to do is rip off our tops like Crystal over there and let the girls fly free as we drop it like it’s hot. So fuck your Jewish stereotypes. The next time you’re at a bar and you see some Jew quietly dancing in the corner, encourage her to get out there - even (and, I dare say, particularly) if that Jew is you. We are the unspoken fly girls of the world. We should be getting cast in music videos! We have the tits, the ass, the hair, the heart - and I think it’s high time we started getting the credit that we deserve.
7 responses so far ↓
1 sara // Jan 20, 2009 at 9:28 am
OMG, best point ever made. I love you. I love me. I love that we can drop it like it’s hot. Nobody can shake dat us like you and me and all our Jew sistas. I feel so proud!!!!!
2 Lysa // Jan 21, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Although highly unlikely, I must have gotten some random shiksa gene because it’s just workin’ over here.
3 becky // Jan 22, 2009 at 9:13 pm
its so true. we got soul. And its overlooked by them as well as us. Take Carole King for instance. i mean have you heard “Tapestry”? A perfect example of some serious jew-soul. Soon enough we will be covered in bling calling each other “Shorty.”
4 serena // Jan 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm
i love this and it’s SO true. this shiksa can’t shake it to save my life.
i’ll make this reason #180-something that i wish i was a jew.
5 T.I. Loves to Hollah at Jews. // Jan 28, 2009 at 8:35 pm
[...] DO love the way I drop it, b/c some Jews can drop it like it’s hot, don’t you forget it. Oh! And I did go to college, silly! I drank a lot, dabbled in straightening my Jew-fro, and got [...]
6 amba // Jan 30, 2009 at 10:32 pm
So, so true. Just give a listen to klezmer (a lot of black musicians are way into it, btw, like a lot of Jews are into jazz) and you’ll hear your genes calling, including the unkosher ones slipped in by the gypsies and the arabs. Get us some dance names!
7 amba // Jan 30, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Oh and by the way, when I went to the Geis kids’ Orthodox weddings, when there was a partition between the men and the women, the women danced so wildly you wouldn’t have believed it . . . it was . . . gay!
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