Here’s a pet peeve: When you’re chubby, one often has to buy crappy jeans, it’s just a fact. Now, some suggest, “Oh, yeah, dude, go to one of the custom jeans places and have them measure you, and then, like, they make the most awesome pair of jeans for you that’s like totally your perfect size!”. Oh, really?! And charge me $200?! Maybe they’re right, and I should just bite the bull’ and do that… but I’m a Jew, so it’s hard for me. I mean, I have my priorities (aka I’ll drop a hot stack on a smokin’ bag, but a pair of I’m-chubby-so-I-had-to-get-these-custom-made pants… no dice).
So, what to do?! My favorite pair of jeans right now are from a chubby girl website, and I loooove them. Unfortunately, after half a day of wearing them (even right after they’re washed), then loosen up around the waist and then I get this GIANT sagging crotch. B-O-G-U-S. I hate my life.
“You need a belt”, everyone keeps telling me. But that looks funny, too. When you have a tummy (let me just go ahead and educate you, skinny bitches), a belt that is actually around the belly (not cinching up above it) is unflattering. Straight up. Plus I can’t find my belt.
“Go buy a new one”, you say? Oh, that’s easy… NOT (yes, I just brought NOT back). Belts are a pain in the ass for a chubby girl. Once again, I hate my life.
So, I’m just opting for falling-off-pants. I guess this is my lot in life. Wah-wah-wah. Get ready for some serious ass-crack, weekend, cuz I’m washin’ ‘em tonight, but them I’m wearin ‘em both days. Unless anyone has any advice? Ha.



3 responses so far ↓
1 jessica // Jan 31, 2009 at 1:22 pm
yeah, fuck those custom made jeans!!! $200, my eye. let ‘em sag, and show your crack with pride. maybe you even sag them on purpose, like completely below your ass. what, this ass?!?! yeah, it’s out on purpose!
2 KateL // Feb 1, 2009 at 7:16 pm
a) custom made jeans might work for people who are actually the same size all the time, but i don’t know who those people are. my weight goes up and down too much for me to spend $200 on a pair of jeans that might be too big or too small in two weeks.
b) belts are a fashion nightmare. i just looked at my high school yearbooks and was shocked to see what i was wearing a belt in every picture — except the one from Fiddler on the Roof, where i was wearing a costume. i hang my head in shame.
3 sara // Feb 1, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Oh, girl, ain’t no shame in it!
a) it was the 90’s. Immediate out.
b) who knew any better in high school?!
Leave a Comment