James Dobson, leader of Focus on the Family and professional religious whackjob, is stepping down from his position as of today.
Don’t you kind of wonder why? I mean, come on - that is fucking suspect. I’m guessing he either knocked up an underage girl and forced her to get an abortion, and she’s blackmailing him, [...]

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You know what, The Oscars? I’m a little sick of your cheek. You close down Highland for weeks, then you close down Hollywood for an entire day. You bring in tourists schlepping around tarted-up daughters who they hope to land on a casting couch. You cause traffic delays, you make my gym inaccessible, you make [...]

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I love this site, and I really want to them to film my absolutely hysterical grandfather. Sam Hoffman? How do you feel? Harry Gottlieb is ready, I’m pretty sure.

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This Jessica Simpson shit has gone too far not to weigh the fuck in.
Jessica Simpson is a hottie.
Smoking hot.I’d hollah at that. I’d straight-up hop on it, in fact. As my dear friend Joy Nash said, “She’s really grown into her face.” Amazing.
Now, though Jessica Simpson has truly never looked better (really, look back through [...]

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Last night was soooo rough, that I have to share my story with you. Just you, okay? Don’t spread this (literal) shit around… I’ve heard you have kinda’ a big mouth.
So, last night I had to work (yes, this Jew has to work… isn’t that horrible?), as did a few others.  We ordered dinner from [...]

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There are a lot of lies floating around the city of Los Angeles, but this one is particularly galling. Why? Well, I don’t know who Johnny is (above), but I do know this: there are no cupcakes at Johnny Cupcakes.
Yup - it’s all a hoax. The store delivers a straight slap in the face when [...]

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I was thinking about how much I loved Sesame Street when I was little, and my favorite characters were the “Yip-Yips”.  Ah, those glorious little aliens who got so freaked out by a telephone, or a radio… you know what I’m talking about? Where have they been all these years?
So, I looked them up on [...]

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What do Jews like? JEW-ELRY. Mkay?! That’s always a straight shot to the heart of a Jewess. 
Now (shameless self-promotion), my last birthday in my twenties is coming up, and if you aren’t sure what’s on this Jews wish list, please click here. 
Yeah, that’s right. Oh, and I like red.. but if you think someone else [...]

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Oh, God, it never gets old. Thank you, Lys, for the link.
This is possibly my favorite movie quote ever.

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There comes a time in every woman’s life when she must say to herself, “Self, you are too fucking old for this shit.”
It could be the result of just about anything. A car problem, a relationship problem, a job problem. Well, that moment came for me today in the form of a furniture problem. A [...]

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