What’s really sad is that this is the second post I’ve done in recent memory about internet cafes. That should tell you a few things. 1) I am an asshole. 2) I am addicted to being online. Because right now, I’m at an internet cafe not because I’m unemployed and pretending to be otherwise by bringing my to’ up Mac to Solar de Cahuenga — I’m at one right now because I don’t have my power chord and so my laptop is dead. And you know, it’s 10:30 p.m. on a Friday and it’s raining and so, I NEED TO BE ONLINE. That, my friends, is pathetic.

Anyway, this cafe is particularly depressing. As in, real Hollywood depressing. Drunk people singing loudly outside, people in here dressed to the nines who probably mean to be at a club, and of course, honking, loud, disgusting traffic. There is a dude hitting on a chick behind me, and they both look like trannies. I have nothing against trannies - I just want you to know what kind of Hollywood I’m talking about. At this time of night, any self-respecting tranny should be dancing on top of a bar in West Hollywood. And by the same token, any self-respecting Jew should be at home watching a documentary and eating Chinese take-out.

I’m leaving.