Alls I’m saying is this: Many an African man loves this chubby bitch.

Hold on, hold on, don’t fly off the handle and go calling me a stereotyping Jew! Damn, let a girl explain…

Of late, in my very limited experience with being out past sundown (and yes, this experience is seriously sparse)- I have noticed a pattern. Hipster guys don’t hollah at this. Frat boys don’t even look twice. Those trashy wanna-be-Euro guys are chasing 21 year-old tail… but, African men (and I do mean African men, not African American men, I do know the difference) tend to take a second peep. And not only that, often they even stop a chubby Jew to make a straight-up proposition.

In the past two weeks, let me just share what ha-happn’d:

The Gold Room in Echo Park, circa one AM on a Friday (read: Saturday): A chubby, curly-haired Jewess is peeing in the bathroom after three seven and sevens (yes, that would be me). She exits the loo to see a tall dark gentleman leaning against the wall in the hallway. They look each other up and down (hey, just because I’m betrothed doesn’t mean I can’t look). Oops, awkward, she looked a little too long, might have given him the wrong impression- yikes! Scurries back to group of friends.

Later in the evening (morning), she makes her friend shield her when they pass the gentleman again, as he has been watching from across the room. To no avail, as he intercepts on the way to the bathroom again (she pees a lot, what can I say), and says politely in a thick, gorgeous accent, “You are beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?”. She responds, “Oh, ah, thanks, uh, yeah, no thanks, I gotta’ pee, okay, uh, thanks, uh, bye!”. Scurries.

Two weekends later, Beauty Bar, Hollywood: Horrible crowd, super young, white and boring. Sucking it up to engage in some actual social-time, chubby Jewess is once again crossing the bar when a (somewhat short) dark and lovely man approaches, claims she is “lovely” and asks to buy her a drink. Repeat awkward escape.

Okay, so these two specific occasions doesn’t a pattern make, but listen, when I lived in Chicago, I hit The Wild Hare (a hot regee bar/club) on a occasion, and I can say this: many African men want to hollah at this. And it may be a leap, but I’m gonna’ go ahead and say that it’s because unlike many gentlemen of the Anglo variety… African men have some damn taste in a booty.

Could I be wrong? Sure. But it’s not likely.