I snagged this coaster from a bar this weekend… 

On the one hand, I’m thrilled. Couldn’t be happier. Feel like maybe I need to go see my therapist because actually seeing advertising out in the world equating fat with something positive (delicious, not cigs), is blowing. My. Freaking. Mind. 

Then I got to thinking… is this marketing targeted? And by targeted, I mean not targeted at white people. Ever heard of a vagina referred to as a “FP”? Aka “Fat Puss”? Yeah, white people don’t say that. Last time I checked my stereotypes, mostly black men use that term. And yes, it’s a positive term. Thank god some people have taste.

Another stereotype? That black people smoke menthols. 

Huh… all of a sudden I’m less thrilled with my magic coaster. I guess because as a white, chubby Jew I feel left out. Like a little kid that got so excited that the big, older kids (marketing execs) finally wanted to hang out with me and include me in their big kid games, just to realize that they aren’t even interested in me at all. They’re just using me to get to my friends. 

But, you know the funny part? If (stereotypically) black men love chubby women the most, guess who can’t get down at all? Hipsters. Hipsters notoriously go for wimpy little twiggy bitches. And guess who packed the fat, delicious coaster-strewn bar the other night? Fucking hipsters. 

Maybe the marketing will work it’s way into those weasley little psyche’s and they’ll start to love the FP, even just a little bit.  That would be lovely. In the meantime, this coaster will be prominently displayed in my kitchen. And I’m gonna’ start smoking menthols. 

Ew, that’s going to far.