Today I was lamenting to myself that I wouldn’t have to have a damn day job for a good 10 years if could just be a fucking stripper. Oh, except I’m chubby, so no dice. Then I got mad. 

I think we already know that Jews can dance. That’s been made abundantly clear. Just go to a club and look at all the big titty, curly-haired girls dropping it like it’s hot on the dance floor. Yeah, those are Jews, and you’re intimidated. Well, you should be. And have you ever seen a chubby Jew get down?! I bet you have, you just didn’t know it at the time. Glorious curves, tig-ole-biddies (must I reiterate?), and a badonkadonk… yeah, that was a Jew, and she knew what was up. 

We also know that men love women with curves. That’s clear. They love black girls with curves, white girls with curves, Latina girls with curves… I mean, we’re all getting ours, okay? And we know that strippers make bank. So, what’s the deal? Is the man trying to keep us down (off the pole)? Where are all the sleazy club operator guys? They gotta’ know that if you put a BBW (big beautiful woman) strip club in the right neighborhood, the shit is ’bout to go down. 

Well, too bad for them, because maybe it’s time that we just cashed in on this idea, ladies. Because guess what? I’m an organizer. And my husband just gave me a great idea. Organize a BBW night at a local strip club. Jumbo’s Clown Room, how do you feel? Because I will get my chubby Jewish ass up on that stage and it’ll blow your damn mind. Now let me go round up some chubby bitches…