FFor those of you not privy to inside information into my life, a lot has recently gone down. I won’t bore you with the details, but among them is the fact that I’ve been working at a TV show for the past few days (I know, I know, I’m very famous).

This morning, something very interesting happened that got me thinking, that I’d like to share with you. It’s about 3:30 in the afternoon, and I walk into the kitchen to get some hot cocoa. Natch. In there, I run into none other than the big boss lady. Skinny. Tan. Bejeweled. A little intimidating. I hover near her awkwardly because she was standing in front of said cocoa. I look at her, I wait next to her, I shift from foot to foot. I’m quite obviously there. This goes on for about a minute, and yet she continues to ignore me. Finally, I felt so uncomfortable that I tried to strike up a convo, and here’s how it went:

Me: Is it just me, or is it really cold out there? 

Her: (without glancing up) Yes. It’s cold.

Me: You’re cold, you frigid bitch! …Yeah.

Her: (turning around to leave the room and looking at me for the first time) I guess they put the AC on. You should bring some Uggs or something.

OK. Seems harmless enough, right? But here’s why I’m telling you this story. Because my knee-jerk reaction, as she essentially ignored me and seemed put out by my speaking to her, was to write her off as a total B. I expected her to at least be friendly to me.

And so, noting my own expectations of her and my subsequent judgment, I got to thinking -the successful woman stereotype (bitchy, cold) has been played out since the power-shoulder pads of the 1980’s, right? And yet somehow it doesn’t seem to be slowly eroding or drifting away. You’re either Bridget Jones or Anna Wintour, either Carrie Bradshaw or Hilary Clinton. In other words, you’re either likable and semi-ambitious, or horrid and highly ambitious. So knowing full well that these stereotypes exist, and that you will be judged harshly in the workplace, how does it feel to nevertheless shove aside (at least outwardly) concerns over what people think of you, and brazenly be That Woman?

The more I thought about it, of course, the more I knew that my initial impression of her could be the result of anything. I mean, maybe she had something on her mind. To be fair, she has a whole shitload more responsibility than I have, and so it’s poss that she had something more pressing to dwell on than my current comfort level. And not only that, but full disclosure — if a man had done that to me, I probably would have left feeling like I was the idiot. Heck, I might not even have made that wimpy-ass comment to a man. Because I’ll be honest, I said it in part because usually cold office temperatures are something that women can commiserate about — but of course, that was a stupid stereotype too.

However, all that said, I stand by the fact that she was a bit rude and standoffish to me. I know that I usually try to introduce myself to people I don’t know when I’m alone in a room with them. So my question is, should we applaud women like that, who don’t let stupid stereotypes affect the way that they behave — in other words, don’t cave to societal pressure to “be nice” — or should we hold everyone in power positions — men and women — to higher standards, and insist that even in this cutthroat, capitalistic society we live in, saying hi to someone by the hot cocoa is common courtesy no matter what your rank in the hierarchy? 

Your thoughts?