Today I realized something about myself: I have latent butch tendencies. Sure, my hair’s shoulder length and I don’t wear flannel. But I’ve recently moved, and in the process of doing home improvement projects, it hit me: I’m not just doing these to make my new home more comfortable. I’m doing it because I love to to fix shit!

For instance. I’m currently working on attaching a hose to my tub nozzle to make it a shower. I was fascinated as I listened to my Dad (my go-to source of home improvement information) explain to me how the threads of the shower hose fit nicely into the threads inside the nozzle. Also, over the past week, I got a significant thrill from using a power drill on not one, but two separate occassions. In fact, I also busted out the level, the screwdriver, and a stepladder. I’m a regular McGuyver.

Have you lost interest? Well, try these on for size…a few interesting tidbits about home improvement:

• Tools and hardware are embarrassingly sexualized. The little metal thing that connects a hose to a shower head, for instance, is called a nipple.
• Hardware is gendered. The side of the hose that you insert something into is called the female side; the side that is inserted is male. True story. These things started to make me uncomfortable when I was talking to my dad about them.
• You never know how many trips to Home Depot you might have to make in a day, but you can always return shit if you need a different size. Really, they’re very understanding about it.

And finally, a piece of advice: if you’re working on a tub, don’t turn the water on while you’re sitting in there, even if you think you’re far enough away to not get wet. You aren’t.