Sometimes, a Jew does something crazy, like dying her naturally dirty blond (light brown, my balls) hair a lovely shade of platinum. And all is well and good, until said Jew realizes that this color means she has to wear bright red lipstick every single day.
Realizing that she has erred, she then has to [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Los Angeles'
Glorious Jew Hair
April 1st, 2009 · 1 Comment
Tags: Los Angeles · The Chosen · The Humor
Boycott Adultcon this Weekend in LA!!!
March 20th, 2009 · 1 Comment
Four adult BBW (read: Big Beautiful Women) model/actresses are suing Adultcon, whose adult entertainment show is taking place at The LA Convention Center this weekend. Why, you ask? As the lawsuit claims, these plus-sized beauties were denied a booth at the event due to their ”weight, obesity and physical appearance.”
Oh, really?! Too bad that’s BLATANTLY ILLEGAL, Adultcon. [...]
Tags: Are You Fucking Kidding · Chubby Life · Ho's Before Bro's · Los Angeles · Sex Work · The Chosen
Snoop, Why You Gotta’ Steal the Airplane Blanket?
March 4th, 2009 · 3 Comments
I mean, the economy must really be going downhill when Snoop is walking off an airplane with one of the blankets. Really, Snoop? Is it like that?! I’m pretty sure that’s not kosher, as I’ve heard many a cranky mom say,
No, honey, you have to leave the blanket on the plane. It’s not yours.
And btw, [...]
Tags: Are You Fucking Kidding · Los Angeles
Hollywood Blvd., I am no longer your bitch!
March 3rd, 2009 · 1 Comment
I think I just discovered the Holy Grail.
Because you see, the title of this post was going to be “Road Rage.” And it was going to have to do with the fact that yesterday - over a week after the Oscars - Hollywood Blvd. was still closed, from Highland to Orange. Which meant that again, [...]
Tags: Los Angeles · Travel
Damn You, The Oscars.
February 23rd, 2009 · 4 Comments
You know what, The Oscars? I’m a little sick of your cheek. You close down Highland for weeks, then you close down Hollywood for an entire day. You bring in tourists schlepping around tarted-up daughters who they hope to land on a casting couch. You cause traffic delays, you make my gym inaccessible, you make [...]
Tags: Los Angeles · The Humor
Cupcakes? Really?
February 19th, 2009 · 4 Comments
There are a lot of lies floating around the city of Los Angeles, but this one is particularly galling. Why? Well, I don’t know who Johnny is (above), but I do know this: there are no cupcakes at Johnny Cupcakes.
Yup - it’s all a hoax. The store delivers a straight slap in the face when [...]
Tags: Los Angeles
“He Doesn’t Know Who I Am”
February 13th, 2009 · 7 Comments
Oh yes, she did.
So today, I had this job at Restoration Hardware for about three hours (long story). And while I did not do much in those three hours, I did manage to accomplish one very important thing: I witnessed the true colors of none other than Hilary Swank.
She came into the store at about [...]
Tags: Are You Fucking Kidding · Los Angeles
The Chubby Life: Akon, Do YOU Want to Hollah at ‘Dis?
February 10th, 2009 · 6 Comments
Alls I’m saying is this: Many an African man loves this chubby bitch.
Hold on, hold on, don’t fly off the handle and go calling me a stereotyping Jew! Damn, let a girl explain…
Of late, in my very limited experience with being out past sundown (and yes, this experience is seriously sparse)- I have noticed a [...]
Tags: Chubby Life · Los Angeles · The Chosen · The Humor
Oh, The Shame.
February 8th, 2009 · 2 Comments
So, this east side Jew who barely makes it west of Vermont went out in Hollywood last night. Oh, yeah, on Cahuenga for that matter, to Beauty Bar. Ugh. I only went because it was the birthday of a friend, and I rolled deep (read: brought a lot of friends to act as a giant [...]
Tags: Los Angeles · The Chosen · The Humor
Fucking Internet Cafes.
February 7th, 2009 · No Comments
What’s really sad is that this is the second post I’ve done in recent memory about internet cafes. That should tell you a few things. 1) I am an asshole. 2) I am addicted to being online. Because right now, I’m at an internet cafe not because I’m unemployed and pretending to be otherwise by [...]
Tags: Are You Fucking Kidding · Los Angeles

