Sometimes, a Jew does something crazy, like dying her naturally dirty blond (light brown, my balls) hair a lovely shade of platinum. And all is well and good, until said Jew realizes that this color means she has to wear bright red lipstick every single day.
Realizing that she has erred, she then has to [...]

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I heard this song on KLOS earlier today, and if there’s one thing I know it’s that God intended Ozzy-related joy to be shared. So here you go, happy Wednesday. Mama, I’m coming home.

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I was letting my mind wander today on my drive to work, and you know what I was thinking about? How funny it is to throw a shoe at a motherfucker. Take back in December when a shoe was thrown at (FORMER) President Bush: 

Now, some may call me unpatriotic (you wouldn’t be the first, you [...]

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You know what, The Oscars? I’m a little sick of your cheek. You close down Highland for weeks, then you close down Hollywood for an entire day. You bring in tourists schlepping around tarted-up daughters who they hope to land on a casting couch. You cause traffic delays, you make my gym inaccessible, you make [...]

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I love this site, and I really want to them to film my absolutely hysterical grandfather. Sam Hoffman? How do you feel? Harry Gottlieb is ready, I’m pretty sure.

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I was thinking about how much I loved Sesame Street when I was little, and my favorite characters were the “Yip-Yips”.  Ah, those glorious little aliens who got so freaked out by a telephone, or a radio… you know what I’m talking about? Where have they been all these years?
So, I looked them up on [...]

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What do Jews like? JEW-ELRY. Mkay?! That’s always a straight shot to the heart of a Jewess. 
Now (shameless self-promotion), my last birthday in my twenties is coming up, and if you aren’t sure what’s on this Jews wish list, please click here. 
Yeah, that’s right. Oh, and I like red.. but if you think someone else [...]

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Oh, God, it never gets old. Thank you, Lys, for the link.
This is possibly my favorite movie quote ever.

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Well, folks, I’ve been in Chi-town for the last few days, welcoming my new gorgeous, amazing tiny niece into the world. I have to say, there is nothing like a baby to bring people together, make everyone smile and toss all of the pettiness aside… oh, wait, naw.  These are Jews we’re talking about, people, [...]

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Alls I’m saying is this: Many an African man loves this chubby bitch.
Hold on, hold on, don’t fly off the handle and go calling me a stereotyping Jew! Damn, let a girl explain…
Of late, in my very limited experience with being out past sundown (and yes, this experience is seriously sparse)- I have noticed a [...]

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