I’m wondering if you’re feeling the way I’m feeling… I mean, 2010???? REALLY????? Remember 1988 when 2010 seemed like a totally ridiculous notion filled with food in pill form, time travel and an all metallic wardrobe for all? Yeah… not so much, as it turns out. Good thing, really, because I love food (obv), and [...]

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So, I know Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t into Halloween. And guess what? Neither is this Jew. 
Yes, I admitted it! Because honestly, I feel like it’s a faux pas not to be into Halloween. As if it’s this amazing holiday with so much to look forward to involved… um, really? I thought it was for kids. And [...]

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Let me recount a story from this weekend for you…
It was just a nice little Saturday with Jessica. Susina for coffee, the Grove for shopping. We hit Nordstroms, naturally. After all that shopping we got hungry, so we stopped for a snack (first Jews ever to patronize Johnny Rocket’s).
Then it went down.
While laughing (at someone’s [...]

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I fucking love this guy.

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Just a little poll… bathroom attendants… Yay or nay?
I’ll tell you, I’m a solid NAY. First of all, it’s straight up awkward. The eye contact is awkward, the handing me the paper towel is strange… and all the goodies… cigarettes, perfume, candy, gum, spray-on deodorant, tampons… whoah. It’s a lot of stuff.
I have to commend [...]

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It’s not often that I take the time to communicate with my Giant Ass. For one, I’m a busy Jew. And secondly, it’s just a tad crazy. Just a tad. 
Well, the other day I got an opportunity to stop. Just for a moment. And say, “Thank you. Thank you, Giant Ass”. 
It was late morning during [...]

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Indeed, May is National Masturbation Month. Yes, it’s for real. And there was a National Masturbation-A-Thon, presented by the Center for Sex and Culture last night. Pretty amazing, wish I had been there- kinda’ makes me want to move to San Fran. 
This reminded me of how I got started as a little masturbater (age… well… [...]

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Hypochondriasis (or hypochondria, sometimes referred to as health phobia) refers to an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness.
Oh, yes. I know all about it, and exactly what it means. I just looked it up because I was a little concerned that I might misspell it. Thought I’d include it here just in [...]

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One might have thought that as a youngin’ I would have identified with Blanche on The Golden Girls. She was slutty, crazy and had the most insane outfits (seems like a good fit). But, to be honest, it was Dorothy that I found a little of myself in. Bold, crass and classy- she was truly [...]

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This morning I saw the most amazing license plate ever. Driving along on Grand Ave. downtown… and there it was. Right in front of me. “IM CHOSN”.
Uh… YEAH YOU ARE.
And guess what kind of care this CHOSN person was driving?? Oh, please. Like you need a guess. A fucking Mercedes. That’s right. The CHOSN car.
OF [...]

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