I first noticed the phenomenon of Bare Feet when I glanced over at H. during a lap dance. I thought she looked shorter, and sure enough, down at the bottom of her legs were not her usual seven-inch Lucite platforms, but just…her feet.

It was jarring. Tall and slim with long, wavy black hair, H. was a straight vixen on the stage. But once she got her prey into the VIP room, off came the stilettos, and down she came from her pedestal.

I wondered briefly if I could do it. It sure would be a lot more comfortable. But I thought about it, and I realized - as a stripper, I am incomplete without my shoes.

My shoes are like my armor. Without them I’m my normal height (short), with my normal proportions (normal…nothing to write home about), just dolled up in a glorified bathing suit. But with them on, I’m a glamazon, a fantasy both to my customers and to myself.

I admire those girls who take the damn things off, cause let’s be real - they hurt by the end of the night. However, just like my life story, I want the bastards to know as little about me as possible, including what I look like when I’m talking to people I know and like.

This chubby broad is cruising the Chi this week, seeing the fam, catching up with friends, what have you. I make it here a few times a year, and every time things seem to have changed. On this trip I’ve been on the look-out for chubby girls, their fashion, their attitudes, etc., to see if there are really SO MANY MORE FAT POEPLE in the Midwest. 

So far, I haven’t noticed the FAT ratio as being that different from LA… I was at a BBQ the other night (where they roasted a lamb in a pit- thank god I missed that part), and I was one of maybe three chubby girls, which is pretty traditional. These ladies were adorable- cute dress, nice jeans, great accessories, lovely. I started thinking about how the media portrays us chubby chicks (as they lump us in with the rest of “obese America”), and what a sham it all might be… 

As Joy Nash said to me, 

“Scratch the surface of any obesity study, and you’ll find a weight-loss company backing it.” 

That’s fucked up. 

Anyways, I’m loving the chubby ladies in the Chi- from what I can tell they’re fashionable, gorgeous and might I say, even more confident than the chubbies in LA? That’s what I’m talking about! 

Now, I am heading to Indiana today… that might be a whole new ball game. I’ll report back with anything shocking (like scrunchies or hammer pants). 

The Frisky has a great post up about calling scene on (a.k.a., ending) the debate about what makes a woman a slut. The writer calls for an end to the use of the word because it’s so subjective, and I would add to that that it is fucking offensive, derogatory, hypocritical and misogynistic. Just sayin’. Anyway, here is a choice excerpt:

People who throw around the word slut love to pretend like there’s a concern for the slut’s body, and her lack of respect for it. What does “respect” in this context mean anyway? Certainly it’s possible for a woman who’s slept with 40 men to respect her body more than someone who’s only slept with one person—maybe she respects her body’s desire to experience pleasure, rather than her body’s desire to follow rules put upon her by someone slipping a purity ring on her finger, for example.

Preach it!

Photo via Flickr

Via Pushback: The Democratic party released it’s new platform on choice today. Dropping the “safe, legal and rare” bit, they focused instead on backing measures that will actually do something to prevent unintended pregnancy in the first place, like comprehensive sex education, affordable and accessible health care, and even parenting courses.

This is exciting on a lot of levels. First, it’s just nice to see an alternate approach that could actually work in the real world after being bombarded for so long with abstinence this and purity that. Also, we now have an official leg to stand on when we talk about how we address issues like teen pregnancy. Finally, it takes into account the fact that women who face unintended pregnancies come from every socioeconomic class, have all kinds of backgrounds, and will need different levels of support through making their decision and beyond.

I’ve recently taken to making up different stories about my life for every customer who I talk to.

“Where are you from?” is a question that I get asked by almost everyone, which is incredibly boring, so to keep it interesting I’m trying to get to the point that I’ve “grown up” in all fifty states.

So far, I’ve spent my childhood in North Dakota, which became even more fun when a customer forgot my name and so told a fellow dancer, upon trying to find me again, that he had been talking to “the girl from North Dakota.” I’ve also grown up in New Hampshire, Montana, Wyoming, Kansas (that one always gets some shocked looks), Oklahoma, and Illinois.

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That’s what I think of Elizabeth Edwards, former Presidential (and Vice Presidential?) hopeful John Edwards’ wife.

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My bro saw Obama today in the Chi… just thought I’d share the tiniest picture of him ever to be posted on the internet. See him back there by the door, he’s waving? He’s very small? Gotta’ love the crowd, the secret service, the black town-cars… ah, it bodes well for our future… 

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I work in a pretty traditional office environment- lots of women, lots of talking about shopping, clothes, beauty treatments, shoes, vaginas, yeast, etc. I’m all for it, it’s a damn good time, and let’s be honest, it breaks up the day.

But one thing that’s really striking about working with women is this: they hate themselves. Yes, all of them. Or at least the vast majority. It’s insane! You’re ho-humming along in a perfectly lovely conversation about something non-controversial (like Kenneth Cole shoes, which I happen to adore), and inevitably, someone brings it down to the “I hate my body level”.

“I couldn’t fit into anything this morning, I seriously need to lose some weight”…. (or buy some new clothes?).

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…cause it’s World Breastfeeding Week! All ’round the world, governments, mothers, and suckling children will celebrate the glory that is the breast. The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action, the group that organized the event, is handing out awards for the place or organization that hosts the most events. Not sure how else you could measure success with regards to breastfeeding - happiest babies? Quietest? Sleepiest? Most drained breasts?

Nationally, there’s some fun stuff going on. Colorado is celebrating a law that will require workplaces to provide ample time and space for mothers to breastfeed, and two dozen women in New York City breastfed their babies on the subway as part of a demonstration.

Anyway, far be it for me to say whether women should or shouldn’t breastfeed their babies, although I know there’s a great deal of hullabaloo surrounding it at them moment. But, I am all for laws and policies that provide support for women who do choose to get the girls out - breastfeeding or not, as far as I’m concerned!

I went to a baby shower for a really kick-ass gal this weekend, and discovered that she has been quite busy making things (besides a head, arms, legs, penis and balls inside her belly) since the last time we crossed paths. I am totally obsessed with her creations. Check this cute ass shit out! 

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